I have never understood the lyrics to Holy Diver. I’ve read all the theories and I’m not sure I buy any of them. I’ve decided I’m just gonna go through the lyrics and provide a running commentary of each thing as it pops in my head. My comments will be in parentheses.

Holy Diver

(What kind of name is that?)

You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea

(First up, I’m disturbed by the lack of safety equipment. Is he  just holding his breath? Have his balls retracted from the cold?)

Oh what’s becoming of me

(Fantastic question. Why did he even dive down to the midnight sea in the first place? And why exactly is he considered Holy?)

Ride the tiger

(This sounds decidedly unsafe.)

You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean

(This makes sense. If you couldn’t see his stripes, that tiger would be filthy, perhaps even covered in mud.)

Oh don’t you see what I mean

(I already said I did.)

Gotta get away

(From what? The tiger? Is the clean tiger gonna run you down and eat you?)

Holy Diver

(Again with this Holy Diver shit. Present credentials or stop using this term.)

Shiny diamonds

(Alright, diamonds are shiny.)

Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue

(OK, you lost me. I get shiny cat eyes in the black of night, but where the fuck does the blue come in?)

Something is coming for you

(Perhaps a clean tiger? A cat with shiny eyes?)

Race for the morning

(I’m pretty sure this makes no sense.)

You can hide in the sun ’till you see the light


Oh we will pray it’s all right

(OK then.)

Gotta get away-get away

(Are we hiding or gonna get away? Make up your damn mind!)

Between the velvet lies

(Is this real velvet or a euphemism for vaginal walls?)

There’s a truth that’s hard as steel

(Agreed. Truth is always hard as steel. That’s why it hurts some people.)

The vision never dies

(Might want to see a doctor about that.)

Life’s a never ending wheel

(The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.)

Holy Diver

(Again with this shit.)

You’re the star of the masquerade

(I am…?)

No need to look so afraid

(I don’t look afraid and I’ll thank you to keep your stupid comments in your pocket.)

Jump on the tiger


You can feel his heart but you know he’s mean

(Feel his heart? Eww…)

Some light can never be seen

(Does this even make sense? Wait, are your eyes closed?)

Gotta get away

(From the light? The now pissed-off tiger you jumped on like an idiot?)

Get away

(Alright, I’ll go.)

Gotta get away

(I’m going.)

Get away


Holy Diver


Sole Survivor

(Sole survivor? DID YOU KILL THE TIGER?)

Your heart is clean

(Thank you for noticing. I wash it at least once every day and after meals if I can find the time.)

Holy Diver

(Knock it off.)

Holy Diver

(Seriously, stop it.)

Holy Diver

(I hope you die.)