I was in 8th grade when I had my tonsils removed. I wasn’t allowed to participate in vocal class so I’d sneak into the teacher’s office and call these folks on my school’s dime. I feel very confident in stating that if not for these Counselors, my friend Jess and I would have never gotten through Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest.
We were stuck where everybody gets stuck because Simon’s Quest is full of vague, cryptic bullshit, and fuckery. Somehow we were just supposed to know to equip the Red Crystal at Deborah Cliff and then kneel down for a few seconds to wait for a goddamned tornado to take us to the Bodley Mansion?



Really? Eat a bowl of dicks, Konami.